"Education is a lifelong journey whose destination expands as you travel."

-Jim Stovall

Walking with Solitude

"Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge."

 -Paulo Coehlo         

     I saw this in one of the memes floating in Facebook and it resonated with me. I carried it through the day and it made our late afternoon walk even more pleasurable than the previous ones. I have always wanted peace, for myself and for my family. That is why we moved far enough from the noise and worries of city life. Most of all, I just wanted to walk away from expectations.

     I did pretty well in school and have developed my skills to pursue a career. Later on, I realized that I wanted to pursue a life with plenty of time spent with my children and that kind of work means more to me than any promotions. However, there are times when dreams, ideas, imagined opportunities would come rushing in my mind. I could not sleep, I keep myself lost in chaotic searching for something that would push me to do something. I would just have this irrational restlessness and discontentment. And then comes questions. 

"Did I waste my skills and abilities?"

"Was I too scared?"

"Did I close doors leading to opportunities?"

"Am I going to regret my choices and won't have the time to do what I am meant to do?"

     Then comes unhappiness. I would feel alone. I would blame myself from turning opportunities down and pushing people out of my life. I would blame myself, thinking that I gave up, that I quit, that I did not try at all. I would feel like my entire life would tragically turn into nothing. I would feel defeated, like a loser, because I did not dare enough. 

     But then, the day will calm down on its own will. My mind will get some sparks of lights. And the shadow blocking my view would leave me alone.