I intend to use this space as a container of my thoughts. My thoughts about things that run around in my head, robbing me of precious amount of sleep. I want to write freely, without any themes and with less inhibitions. I need this place to retire from all the things that bother me, inspire me, ignite something inside me, but would need some time to incubate so that I can decide if they are simply thoughts brought about by mania or depression.
See, I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. This unknown path is pretty scary and I just need a place to pour all my mind when I have to. I intentionally created this blog to become a sanctuary of my emotions, which may be irrational, because most of the time, they are too heavy to carry. Well, I think you can blame me for some of the weight. For one, I can't seem to let them go completely. Since I can't do both carrying and letting go, maybe I would get some relief by writing them down. It's sort of like renting a storage space, but only for thoughts instead of things. Just like those people who can't throw some stuff away yet, I needed to put my thoughts away in order for me to lighten up my baggage and enjoy my journey.
I want to try writing as one of my daily rituals. I believe in its power to massage my soul whenever I would feel battered inside. I believe that it can be my anchor when I am restless or lost. I believe that by writing, I can see myself whenever I start to fade.
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